Old FURIOUS nads! by The One True b!X

…First Amendment, you pissant Attorney General.

For those wanting to help promote the worldwide Serenity Now/Equality Now charity screenings coming on June 23, there’s now a banner ad and a blog ad available, to be linked to the URL at the start of this paragraph.

First of all, the people protesting have every right to be out there. They have every right to express their views. We do nothing to stop them from exercising their rights of free speech here in the United States.

The President — President Bush talks to President Hu about the subject of freedom of religion, freedom of assembly, freedom to worship. And so that subject came up again today — not in the context of the specific individual, but in the more general context that we continue to believe that there are — that China has some way to go on this area, that a modern society that has moved as far as the Chinese have economically must begin to provide these kinds of freedom to their people.

- Dennis Wilder

In a surprise outburst that cast a diplomatic shadow, a screaming protester confronted President Bush and Chinese President Hu Jintao and interrupted the welcoming ceremony on the White House lawn Thursday. Bush later apologized to the Chinese leader.

“President Bush, stop him from killing,” the woman shouted, to the surprise of hundreds of guests spread across the lawn on a sunny, warm day. “President Bush, stop him from persecuting the Falun Gong” - a banned religious movement in China.

Standing beside Bush, Hu had just begun his opening remarks when the woman started yelling in Chinese and English. Bush leaned over and whispered to Hu, “You’re OK,” indicating the Chinese leader should proceed. Hu, who had paused briefly, resumed speaking even though the woman kept screaming for several minutes before security officers forcibly removed her.

- Associated Press

I’m going to put a prediction on the record. With the sudden arrival of a Browncoat effort to spend June 23 getting people to buy Serenity DVDs in a futile attempt to have it convince Universal to make a sequel, the point of the charity screenings on that day will be bastardized.

I’ve spent the last three months or so trying to make at least one point clear about the screenings: They are about Browncoats doing something other than just the usual agitating for their own benefit.

Yes, fans who saw the movie will get the benefit of seeing it on the big screen again. New fans will get the benefit of seeing it on the big screen for the first time. But mainly, Joss Whedon’s favorite charity will get the benefit of fundraising, and Joss will get the benefit of it being done on his birthday.

The point was to project Browncoat enthusiasm outward into the world, rather than just the usual insular action of projecting it inward towards getting themselves more Serenity.

Already, at least one city organizing a charity screening has taken to referring to it as its “Serenity Day benefit” — removing it from the Can’t Stop The Serenity and/or Serenity Now/Equality Now umbrella and into the other camp.

So here’s my prediction. Rather than the eventual media coverage reporting that Browncoats are hosting charity screenings to benefit the favorite charity of the film’s creator as a sort of birthday present and thank you, said coverage will report that Browncoats are hosting charity screenings in an attempt to convince Universal to make a sequel.

That wasn’t the point. It was never the point. The organizers of the so-called “Serenity Day” could have chosen any other day — say, the anniversary of the film’s original theatrical opening — for their self-interested efforts. Instead, they picked one that was already in play, and had been for months.

And the unfortunate effects of that already are being seen.

So, my “thanks” to the organizers of “Serenity Day” for hijacking (a term first used not by me, but by people on board with the usurping event itself) a day that was supposed to be about Browncoats serving other people and turning it into a day about Browncoats serving themselves.

Last week, I wondered about the various possibilities for just where Vladimir Golovan might have gotten Emilie Oy’s qualifying contributions.

We still have no answer from Golovan himself, but today’s Theo report on what other people are claiming.

This week, the leader of a Southeast Portland church that caters to Slavic immigrants said Boyles’ chief fundraiser, Ukrainian activist Vladimir Golovan, visited his congregation twice to collect signatures on behalf of Boyles and Tate.

But World Harvest Church pastor Yuriy Bigun said Golovan did not make contributing $5 a requirement for signing.

“I did not see anyone give $5,” Bigun said. “Nobody gave $5.”

The paper also reports that Bruce Broussard (who rebuffed the deal) says Golovan offered to collect his signatures but not his qualifying contributions — and that Broussard himself woudl be responsible for providing that money, in violation of the law.

If the above story is true, and Golovan was not collecting contributions for Oy, then just where did the money come from?

“Boyles and Tate both have said that Golovan delivered the corresponding amount of money along with the signatures,” the paper says. “Boyles paid him $15,000 as soon as she qualified for public money.”

Which starts to sound an awful lot like the speculatory musing in my last item on Golovan, which raised the possibility that a fundraiser could simply give $5,000 of his or her own money, knowing that the candidate would be paying them $15,000 once they received public funds, resulting in a nice $10,000 profit.

Meanwhile, check out the article for more nonsense from Oy. Apparently, part of the reason she took out a full year’s lease on a campaign headquarters because “she planned to use the space for a food bank she runs after the election” and that “she did not realize she could not rent space for a year.”

So says Anna Griffin. The infraction cited by the City Auditor? Taking out a lease on campaign headquarters beyond the primary, when primary money can only be spent on the primary.

Update: You can read the determination for yourself, as well as the letter to Oy (pdf) informing her of the decision.

Update: “We will continue to review your documentation for any potential additional violations,” the letter concludes, “and will communicate those to you by 5 p.m. on April 26.”

Pat Ryan seems to think that Emilie Oy’s spam campaign is not worth anything more than this statement: “I find it hard to imagine that an inappropriate email from an obviously confused candidate would engender anything beyond mild irritation.”

So, Pat, because spam is common, we should forgive Oy for spamming? And, good lord, you think this happened because her campaign is “confused’? There’s no confusion here. I would find it extraordinarily unlikely that Oy’s daughter was “confused” and thought it was no big deal to spam lists about deaf students, railroads, Republicans, parks, and Celtic music about her mother needing a lawyer.

That’s not confusion. It’s just arrogant self-interest. And that’s why it’s relevant. Read and listen to how Oy blames everyone but herself for her campaign woes, and it’s a pattern of just that: Arrogant self-interest. It’s hardly my fault, or that of anyone else harping on the spam issue, that said arrogant self-interest runs the gamut from large issues such as paying her daughter in advance of work done and then having part of that come back to pay for their housing costs, all the way over to spamming email lists.

It’s her fault. And it’s all relevant.

The idea that “well, lots of people spam, so it’s no big deal if she does it, too” just baffles me. As I said, to me it reflects upon a trend on Oy’s part to not much care what the rules — or even rules of thumb — might be in any given environment into which she’s thrust herself.

Confused? Let’s see where else her daughter spammed that request for a free lawyer to help them with their self-made woes.

• NW Familes with Heart - “Families of children with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome and other Congenital Heart Defects in the Pacific Northwest (Oregon, Washington, Idaho) unite to support each other.”
• Portland Metro Goths - “Info on Gothic/Industrial/whatever gatherings in Portland, Oregon!”
• Downtime - “For the latest news, tour dates, interviews, articles, appearances, etc… having to do with Everclear, subscribe to DOWNTIME.”
• OH3 - “Mailing list for members of Oregon Hash House Harriers, a group of folks who like to get together on a bi-weekly basis to play a game of Hounds and Hare, and socialize by drinking beer and singing the 1.5 songs we know.”

(For what it’s worth, be sure to check out the responses posted to the goth Everclear and the hash groups.)

So, yeah, okay Pat. Oy and daughter are just “confused” sending their email to lists like this, right?

It seems that Ted Wheeler, candidate to replace Diane Linn is resurrecting an old chestnut of a canard in his campaign.

Wheeler has a radio ad on the air which is described in his website thusly: “It’s true. Multnomah County actually put out a call to hire Klingon translators.”

According to the ad itself (mp3), Multnomah County once was “making plans to spend tax dollars to hire Klingon translators.” Well, yes and no. Mostly no, at least in terms of the message Wheeler is trying to convey in his ad.

Was there a story here at all? Yes, there was. Is it quite the story Wheeler wants you believe it was? No, it wasn’t.

SImply put, because the County’s mental health arena had in the past actually encountered people who refused to speak in any other than Klingon, they did put out a call — to find someone they could contact only when and if they had against had to deal with a patient who refused to speak anything other than this particular fictional language.

That person would only have been paid when and if their services were used.

As utterly bizarre as even that story is, it’s not the one which Wheeler (and hyperventilzating critics at the time of the story) want you to believe.

What they want to insinuate is that the County was going to be outright hiring a Klingon translator to sit on staff getting paid to do nothing. And what they want to insinuate is that there would never in a million years be a need for a Klingon translator.

Both of those insinuations are false. No one was going to be hired to sit on staff. They simply wanted to have the name of someone who could help in the unlikely event that they once again (since it happened before) were faced with the situation.

Is Wheeler trying to tell us that in the unlikely event that the unlikely event which already happened at least once before were to happen again, said patient in need of assistance should be shit out of luck because the county didn’t have the name of someone they could call to help?

It’s nice that Wheeler tries to put some clout into his spin on the story by having someone in his ad say they saw the story on CNN. But the reality is that CNN got it as wrong as everyone else did.

Well, except me.

It seems that the Candidates Gone Wild event has pulled Emilie Oy from its event, apparently because of the recent Willy interview with her (the paper being a sponsor of the debate). An interview which has now been turned into a video you can watch for yourself.

First came the allegation that Foxworth once said that Willy would protect him. Then came Willy saying the idea was laughable. Then came Merc saying the idea that it was laughable itself was laughable.

Now, Willy says they’ve also been covering up “a lint-size piece of the Mercury’s journalistic IQ that we found in our most super-secret vault in Chicago along with Al Capone’s Prohibition-era hooch.”

Honestly, though, the only amusing barb in Willy’s list of other stories they’ve been covering up is the one about Extremo the Clown. The others are rather humdrum.